Wednesday, 28 December 2011

23 !!

23rd of DECEMBER,,
the day i officially turned 18,,
now i'm legal according to the law,,
the age of majority,, (ecceeyyy,, bbual lawyer lak bdk ny.. :P)

Azuhairi was the first one to wish me a happy birthday that night,,
(i called him on his cue,, but yeahh,, thats what best friends do.. :)..)
then Aizuddin did too with this,, which was really sweet so to say.. hahahahh..

the next day,,
i know some of my UiTM friends planned a "surprised birthday party" for me the night before..
but i casually said,, "i'm gonna be busy.." so to avoid unexpected events.. hahahah.. :P
at 8pm i got off the bus at larkin,, solat,, n guess who i met..??
my twin,, Aizuddin..!! hahahha..
nahhhh.. we've actually planned to meet up at that exact point in time..
hehehh.. he wanted to blanje me mkn pizza..!!
that was the plan anyway..
but we switched to chicken chop at Hutan Bandar..
then Aizuddin told me to call my big bro,, Azuhairi,, to come too..

chicken chop.. :P

Azu actually just finished transferring his family's stuff to their new house (they moved houses)..
i could tell he was really tired,, he said his body ached all over,,
i know that Azu actually had a futsal meet that night,, but he did'nt go..
he actually said to his mom,, "nahhh,, futsal later,, Nash called twice..!"
without any fuss or hassle he came to meet us..
Azu missing his futsal game to meet us is a heck of a great big deal..!!
he would'nt miss futsal just for anyone..!!
(a best friend rather hang with you even if he has better places to go to..)
(Azuhairi Bin Adnan u really are my greatest friend in the whole wide world..!! ^^)

so we chat while eating,,
a lot has been going on with all of us while we're away,, :)..
o yeah,, Aizuddin got a cgpa of 3.67..!!
that's just above me..!! hhahhah..
but we did'nt stay long,,
Aizuddin's lil bro misses him,,
my dad came and took us home..

since Azu was really tired,,
i insisted he stayed for the night at my house,,
he did and went home the next day..
i did'nt see any either Azu or Aizuddin for a few days,,
Aizuddin went back to KL as his cuti was short..

i've planned and told my mum that i wanted to go to Azu's house probably a million times now,,
but things always get in the way,, haiz..
i just hope i get to spend some more time with my best buddy before i go back to kuantan.. :'D
haiz,, why did'nt the 3 of us study at the same place..?!
it'd be easier for us to hang..!! haiz.. :P

me the birthday boy.. :P

p/s: i'm a year older now,, but does that means i'm more mature..? i don't know.. what i'm sure about is,, even when you think you're all alone,, and no one seems to understand you,, true friends will always be there when you need them,, Azuhairi my big bro,, Aizuddin my twin,, thanks,, u guys really are the best :')..

p/p/s: i almost forgot.. to my friends at UiTM Kuantan whom sang the birthday song in our room at midnight that night,, arif, qutaibah, raza, zeeq, acap, saha, bada, salihin,, errr,, errr,, errr,, soey aq xegt sme..!! huhh.. THANKS..!! kowg mmg kwn yg sgt baek..!! ^^

Thursday, 22 December 2011


the morning of my birthday,,
and i'm alone again..
(errrkkk,, mmg aq ske kne tinggal ssowg..)

anyway,, i'll post some more updates on how my day went,,

. . .

p/s: a good friend sticks with u even when they have other better places to go to..

Sunday, 18 December 2011


behind this innocent smile of mine,, lay words left unsaid..
words of longing,, love,, anger,, and hate,, all repeated inside my head..

i really don't get it.. one day you're with the most unbelievable people you'll ever meet..
then one day you're like,, 
" heck who are you doe..?! " 
" do i even know you..?! "


i'm human,,
this means that I AM CAPABLE OF FEELING..
and now i'm full of heck,, that my head hurts..

i missed her,,
i know i shouldn't,,
but,, haiz~
if you only knew how i feel right now..
i wish you could read my mind,,
coz i can't never tell you how fu*ked up i am right now..

" in another life,,
you would be my girl,,
we'll keep all our promises,,
be us against the world "


i've been quite different these past few days,,
i have my own reasons,,
they might not be rational,, but they are still my reasons..

i am physically tired,, mentally drained,, spiritually spent..
all because i'm " too good "..
i'm human,, not a robot,, nor a tool,,
i have my own thoughts and feelings,,
it's time i excercise them..
i've had enough,, things gotta change,,
ive gotta change,, regardless..

because even you're different now..
you don't need me,,
you've got them..
i don't wanna be just another disposable option,, 
i'm not a rebound guy,, 

call me jealous,,
try being me,,
see how you like it..


physically i'm still here,,
but spiritually and mentally i'm actually 333km away,,
i'm so psyched to go back to jb,,

p/s: you really don't know what you've got until its gone..

Saturday, 17 December 2011


black + white = cute baby panda !! ^^

black and white.. (i know,, i've repeated that 3times..! :P)
they're the colours for a cute panda..! :P.. 
i know penguins are black and white too,, but admit it,, baby pandas are the way cuter..!! :P
black and white resembles balance,, black often being bad,, and white being good..
hahahh,, red herring..! 
(it means,, cm xde function pown aq cyte mnde ny,, xde kne mngene ngn mnde yg at bwh ny.. :P..)

hahahh.. :P
the good stuffs.. :)..
so today the students of UiTM Kuantan had a photoshoot (eceyyyyyhhh.. :P)..
hahahh,, it was an awesome picture day la so to say.. :P.. 
everyone was looking their best today,,
our group adorned the official colours of lawrians everywhere,, black and white,, proudly..
everyone of us ''Cheesy Wedges'' (our group) were "HOTSTUFFS" for a day,,
the girls might i say were all GORGEOUS..!!
the boys i should say were all HANDSOME..!! 
our other friends were STUNNING too.. :)
hehehh.. :)..
so these are some snaps i managed to get hold of.. :)..

Aifa,, Scha,, Farah Aini,, Sabrina,, Jeremy,, Salihin
Sarah Khalil,, Farah Aini
Scha,, Aifa,, Atikah,, Sarah Khalil,, Farhanah Hashim,, Juwairiah

Juwairiah,, Scha,, Farhanah Hashim,, Farah Aini,,  Sarah  Khalil

Sarah Khalil,, Farah Aini,, Scha,, Aifa,, Jeremy

Scha,, Jojo

Scha,, Aifa,, Farah Aini

Syikin,, Sarah Khalil

Sarah Khalil

Farhanah Hashim,, Aifa,, Scha,, Sayeedah Syahirah

Farhanah Hashim,, Aifa,, Scha,, Sayeedah Syahirah

me,, Scha,, Aifa

me,, Aifa,, Scha

me,, the geek.. :P

these are just some of the pictures of just some of my friendly friends here in UiTM Kuantan,, there are actually tonnes of other pictures,, but they'll be uploaded on fb by the jpk(s).. :)..

p/s: pictures,, they're one of the best ways to capture memories.. this is our last sem learning together in UiTM Kuantan,, come March next year,, we'll be off on our own directions,, huhh.. 
we're awesome,,? 
errrr,, well,, tell us sumthing we don't know please.. :P..

Friday, 16 December 2011


i'm scared,, :'(
first of all i admit i am a scaredy cat
nobody's perfect,, fear is inevitable,, therfore everyone has things that makes them tick.. 
as for me,, i am virtually scared of everything.. that's what people say.. 
but i admit it,, i am scared of mostly anything.. 
one time there was a cricket in my room,, my bestie Azu picked it up bringing it closer to me,, teasing me,, with all my might  i swipe the insect off his hand,, Azu's hand hurt that night.. 
that was kinda stupid knowing that u have all that strength but still you're afraid of a puny cricket,, =,=''..
but there are other rational things that i'm worried, fear, scared about..

broken friendship
friends are like stars in the sky,, u can't always see them but u know they're there..
they're the greatest gift to a lonely soul,, 
a good friend walks into your life when the world dashes through the exit..
what i'm afraid of is loosing a dear friend because of my own stupidity,,
i never ever want to lose any good friend close to me,,
i know i should lighten up,, i tried,, honest,, but sometimes its just that complicated..
i can never live with myself if i loose a friend as a result of my own stupidity..
its hard coz i'm almost stupid almost all of the time.. :p..
my friends,, bear with me..!!

fear of the unknown
fear of the unknown,, i know that's just human nature,, we all deal with it at any point of day,, 
my problem is that i exagerate.. 
sometimes i over think things,, some times that's good,, but with me,, most of the time it's bad,, 
i hate being alone,, i hate being alone in a crowd,, coz at these times my mind wonders into irrational areas.. some times my mood is off,, coz i overthink things.. i hate it,, but i can't help it..
i'm always expecting the worst,, preparing myself for it,, i hate it,, but i'm afraid that it'll be worse if i don't..

the possible end of life
here and now,, people are getting busier, and busier with material life..
they work 24/7 striving for weatlth,,  status,, bragging rights,, whatever.. 
but do we really need those things..? think about it,, can those things save you in the hereafter..?
i'm not as pious as the next guy,, thats why i'm worried,,
i have'nt done enough good deeds,, i know i've tonnes of sin,, am i worthy of the heavens? coz i know i can't bear hell's fire.. :'(.. 
time is all i need,, unfortunately,, time is all that i don't have.. :'(

in the dark
p/s: when your alone,, and in the dark,, suddenly everything akes noises.. =,=''

Thursday, 15 December 2011


have u ever felt like,, 
a misfit,, 
not needed,, 
well i have..

i've been getting those feelings everyday lately,,
nothing i do feels right,,
everything i do makes me feel like heck,,
honestly,, i hate it,,
i can't even concentrate in classes,,
my notes all turned into conteng-conteng,,
i'm distracted..

i know that everyone has their own fair share of problems,,
i know that its best to just let it out,,
i notice that some openly share their problems to friends,,
but publicly exposing problems is'nt me,,
i just can't do that..

i wanna scream my heart out,,
let everything go,, 
i wanna share this with someone,,
but from my point of view,,
i don't really know who would want to hear me out,,
everybody else is busy with their own problems,, 
why the heck would they hear mine,,
that's how i see it..

don't get me wrong,,
i'm not being dramatic,,
there are wonderful souls asking how i was,,
but i had to just answer "i'm totally fine..!" with a fake smile,,
just coz i'ts really hard to explain,,
and i know it'd be really hard for them to understand,,
they're not me..

call me a baby,,
but i just wish someone here would be willing to spend a whole evening with me,,
not necessarily do anything,, 
but just hang,, 
waste time,, 
i think that's what i really need now..

p/s: my best buddy told me that,, being alone makes you stronger.. yeah that,, but the process still hurts..

Monday, 5 December 2011


yesterday i posted about my best friend,,
today i found this on 9gag,, hahahah,,
its kinda sweet,,
so,, just sharing.. :P

p/s: hehh,, yeah,, best friends ease up the pains of life,, even just by a bit,, and they do it just by being there.. :)

Sunday, 4 December 2011


when i was in primary school, i was always bullied by this one kid..
he would bully and make fun of me until i cry.. (yes, i admit i was a cry baby back then.. :P..)
god knows how much i wanna strangle him back then..! hahahahh.. :P..
but sure enough,, after he had his fun,, he'd pujok me back, console me and what not..
stupidly, i would always only stop crying if he pujok me, i would go on crying if anybody else try to pujok me..
(yes,, i admit i was rather dumb back then.. :P..)

but now,,
almost 11 12 or so years,,
he's now my greatest best friend in the whole wide world..!
he is,, jeng,, jeng,, jeng,,

Azuhairi Bin Adnan aka Azu.. :)

he's my bestest buddy ever..!!
people ask me,, "how can you guys be best buddies..? you're like night and day..!"
i hate it when people ask me that,,
i know that he's hot and all that and i'm kinda not,,
but we're best friends just because we are,, is it that hard..? =,='' huhh..

Azu's really great at whatever he does..
he's super talented..!!
he plays the guitar, and sings..!!
u gotta hear him sing..!!
hehehh.. (okayy,, i'm his #1 fan..!) :P

yeah,, if i were to write all the things that he's super at,, this blog would be filled..!! hahahh.. :P..
he's one of a kind i would say..
when i tell my female friends about him,, they would go like "omg..! why is he so sweet..?!" hahahh.. meanwhile azu would say,, "errrk,, tell them we're gay,, i'm sure they'll stop.. hahahhh..!!" he's that funny huhh..!! :P.. one other thing is that, he is really fond of his girl friend.. :)..

my life would really sucked without him..
i'd be really f**ked up without him..
you see,, he'd know that i have problems without me having to tell them to him hehehh.. :P.. it's like telepathy.. hehh.. :P.. he'd always know how to cheer me up.. :)
i dont know how my life would turn out without him.. he'd advice me alot about how to live life.. he kinda takes good care of me in a way,, my family is his family,, and his family is my family.. he's like a big brother.. tetttt.. he is my big brother..! right bro..? hehh :')

bro, this pic of u is super..! :D

p/s: don't get me wrong,, but now that we're far apart,, i really do miss him though.. huhh.. but everytime i need him he'd be there for me, and i'd always be there for him.. :).. this friendship / brotherhood will never end as long as we both shall live.. waaaa.. hahahhh.. (sorry, but you're not jealous are you..? hahahh.. kidding.. :P)

Thursday, 1 December 2011


December's here..!!
hehehh.. December's my favorite month..!!
because,, its the month which i was born in..!!
hehehh.. :P

there's quite a lot of stuffs that happened in Nov,,
for instance,, the ''hauntings'' in my new room and what not..
hahahahahh.. :P..
as long as it no longer bothers me,, i'm cool..

well,, lemme share something..
this guy is my new roomate..
he's "Arif..", or "Mok..", or even "Hotstuff.." hahahhh.. 
he's kinda super nice, but in a way always bullies me.. =,='' hahahhh.. kidding.. :P.. 
he's actually a great guy.. :).. 
we do have a lot i common, we do have the same background, problems and all that,, 
he's one of my closest friends here.. :).. 
kinda a lot like a big brother.. :P..
he knows me well enough  i think.. hahahahahh.. :P..

thoughts for my buddy here is that,,
i hope you would want to share your problems, thoughts or maybe just random stuffs,,
i wanna do things roomies would do,,
i'm stupid, i know, i can be.. huhh..
but i just want to live a great student life here and create memories that i'll tell my grandkids about..
i'm sorry if i'm annoying,,
i'm sorry if im obnoxious,,
i'm sorry if i'm childish,,
thats just me trying to cheer things up.. :P
i'll help you with anything i can,,
and i hope that you'll help me grow as a person.. :)

buddy,, i got your back.. :)

p/s: my friends are my life,, bestfriends..?? i got 7 of them..!! well,, thats in the next entry.. :P.. may December brings good luck for me.. :)..