Monday, 24 December 2012


So yesterday (23rd Dec) was this little idiot's birthday. Happy Birthday to Me I guess. Lil sissy got me a bracelet, black with a star on it, well she didn't exactly got it for me, I took it from her. Hehehh :P Not that I'm complaining or anything, but yeah just like all those past years, the birthday this year was a pretty lonely one. Hahahh. But with a new twist. This year it felt kinda worst, but I haven't the slightest idea why I felt that way. One would be used to it by now huhh.

I might regret saying this later on but, with all those people saying happy birthday and telling me how good I've been the past year and such, somehow it just made me feel, i don't know, off? I mean something just doesn't feel right, even when things seemed fine. Its just felt weird somehow, I don't know how to explain it.  To me among all 365 days in a year, the birthday is one depressing day, more than usual. Maybe because for most people birthdays were supposed to make you feel special, but instead, to me it just adds to my depression coz I don't. I don't know, maybe its coz I expected it to be different this year, but instead it didn't? But yeah, this is just a random thought I have, nobody should feel bad about it. 

Lately I haven't been talking to people much. Been skipping some classes of the final couple of weeks. Haven't been studying enough as well. A friend got offended with what I said in a joking manner. Another good friend was really disappointed in me too, I know it from the tone of his voice, even when he said it wasn't a big deal. These things got me thinking. Hard. Even when I'm socially silent to begin with, I should just shut up, and keep my thoughts to myself. It saves me from a whole lot of trouble. 

People say that I have lots of friends. That I hang with different groups of peoples. That I have somewhat of an easy life. Well what people don't know is that, my life isn't that great and most of the times I don't think I fit in anywhere, not even with the misfits. It only seemed like I have a large circle of friends and an easy life coz, I jump from one clique to another to fill my time and I don't really tell people certain things bout my life. Might seemed simple and easy, but its really lonely. Sometimes I find it to be a bliss that nobody really knows much about me, but most of the times I just curse myself for being so stupid coz its really hard being empty.

I was supposed to talk about a few more stuffs, then I got engrossed in these owl griffin thingy, and then I for got what I was gonna talk about next, so yeah till then.

 Don't do anything stupid, you're being watched.

1 comment:

  1. can totally relate with what you've written.