Tuesday, 16 April 2013

BAD


So its been quite a while since the last update, guess life overwhelmed me a bit. I forgot I had this lil space to spew out my thoughts. The last few months was OK i guess. Things that happened since the last update; I finally got my driving license (yeay me!), I passed all my subjects for sem 1 in law school and made it to sem 2, I didn't die, and that's the best part. Nothing much, nothing special happened. What a boring life I have.

Ever felt inferior? No?
Me? Every single day.

I fell like the noob in a mmorpg game, where while everyone else is busy leveling themselves up, I'm stuck trying to figure out which button to push. It sucks seeing these other guys getting way way ahead of you, and you know its really your fault for being here and being stupid in the first place. Haiz. summing it up, you can say that for the most parts, things here are just bad. Bad.

  • First of all, I feel bad for this one best friend of mine, for I haven't been the ideal best friend a person of such caliber deserves. I know that this good friend of mine is goin through a bad time, I know he feels bad about a lot of things, things that he knows he cud've shared with me, but instead he didn't. I know he did so coz of me, I'm always not there, always. To an extend one cud've sworn we don't even know each other. We haven't spoken in ages, and now it seems like I lost the one person who'd really listen to what I have say. It sucks that I can do exactly nothing about it. I want my best friend here, now, I want my best friend back. Well yeah, that's,,

  • I feel bad for the people around me, the current friends I have here. Often I find myself blowing off some of them saying "Got lotsa assignments to finish", "Later, have stuff at the bank to solve", or "Can't, have brain surgery to attempt on my cat that I don't have", just so I can go home and sleep. Distancing myself from them all. Not that I don't like the friends I have now, but, I don't know, I just don't feel like mingling now I guess.
  • And then there's this thing about my class. Well its not really the class that is problematic, but actually I am the problem kowt. I can't seem to be connecting with anyone in the class. Sure, we sit in a group, we talk about life, we laugh and gossip about others, but I just can't see a bond stronger than just classmates perhaps. I find myself heading straight home (or to eat and then straight home) after class, and out of the class it's nobody's business what I do with life. I did it to myself, I know that, but yeah, introverts get lonely too y'know. ("=3=). #introverts


  • Oyeah, and for some reason I chose Traditional Dance and Creative club as my co-curricular activity. Why? Good question. I thought it was like Step Up or something, but I was wrong to focus only on the 'creative' part of the club, I was wrong to neglect the 'traditional' part. Coz all we do in the club was study dance, traditional dance, this sem we have to learn Joget and Inang. And I have reasons to believe that I failed both of those dances. And for the final assessment, we have to form groups of 4/5 and choreograph a dance, traditional dance of course. Now I feel like I'm dead weight to the other members of my group (I'm in a group with some kids from the Akademi Pengajian Bahasa, whom I don't really know their names :P) So yeah, dance,,


I feel bad for myself too though. I think I have a medical condition or something, I can't seem to focus on anything nowadays. for example this entry. I have it in my mind that this update will be one that is with deep meaning, thought provoking, and emotional. But it turns out that half way through it turns into a lame, if not stupid, joke. Its a big joke. Can't seem to be serious la in this blog of mine. ("=3=). Maybe that's why I don't have readers. Oh well, till then all you I'm-not-sure-if-you-exist-readers. 

But first, watch this! XD
video