Wednesday, 25 May 2016

MISFIT

This is a cliche but, have you ever questioned your existence?
I mean we live in a world of over 7 billion people, across 7 continents, beyond 7 seas, in 197 countries, throughout the 4 seasons, according to 24 different standard time zones, but ever wondered what sets us apart? Makes us different? Unique?
On the other hand, we share the same moon, bask in the same sunlight, nurtured by the one and only Earth, yet why do we still think some lives are worth more than others?
As humans, why do we spend so much time bent on standing out, getting noticed, being different, only to want, crave, and beg, for acceptance of the people we set ourselves apart from later on.

I think, growing up is a disease transforming us into ignorant bastards. Of course this assumption is based on personal experience. Its been known that of late, I've been somewhat ignorant of life, I don't go out of my way to make friends, I disregard the idea of socializing just to save myself from the hassles of favors and help, and benefit the reward of extended nap-naps. I thought, who better to understand your desires other than yourself. Never have I been so wrong. So, here I am, alone most of the time, being envious of the giggles, chuckles, laughs of groups of youths, with no idea what to do. This silent front most people see me in, forever mark myself as an arrogant narcissist at his prime. With every passing day the hope of being part of a bigger picture turns in disappointing results, with every result I get more and more depressed, the more depressed I get, the more I sleep, and god help me coz one of these days I might sleep and never wake up. Haiz. I hate me. 

I just cant seem to connect with anyone. I'm that misfit in the band of misfits, try as I may try as I might, that wont change.

PAPER HEART

Reams of paper at my feet
Words I write, my desolation

My coward heart locked inside
The words I long to sing

My pen is stilled, my heart explodes
My words tumble to the ground

The evidence, on clear display
In reams of paper at my feet.

SECRETS

I've lost the words I tried to say
I cant keep my lost feelings at bay
I tried to run I tried to stay
But still my pain upon me weighs

Forget the secrets I told and cried
Forget the times I told and lied
I try to keep them captived inside
I failed I lost although I tried

If you could find my secret might
The strenght I lost but need to fight
I let my secret out of sight
I lost my head in a single sight.