Wednesday, 3 August 2016

WALLS.

STRUGGLES OF BEING TERRIBLE AT EXPRESSING YOURSELF.


1. YOU UNINTENTIONALLY BECOME A PUSHOVER.
When you don't say what's bothering you, people will think that you're incapable of being bothered. It's not that people never make you angry, it's that you're hesitant to show when you're blatantly upset. The moment you begin to let someone take advantage, is when it becomes a problem. You don't have to justify the way you feel, but if you hide your feelings no one will ever know you're feeling them.



2. YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER OFF AVOIDING CONFLICT THAN SAYING HOW YOU FEEL.
Sometimes you're willing to swallow your annoyance in order to detour confrontation. Conflict isn't something you're afraid of, it's just something you don't feel like dealing with, so you push whatever anger you're feeling aside and hope one day that you don't spontaneously combust, but the more anger and annoyance you push aside, the more frustrated you'll eventually become. Sometimes holding back is more damaging than the confrontation you're attempting to avoid.



3. YOU BECOME UNCOMFORTABLE BEING ASKED ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS.
You might even be allergic to the question. When you sense that the conversation is heading in an emotional direction, you attempt to make a U turn. "I don't know" becomes a phrase you're accustomed to using, and when that answer is not good enough for them, you have no idea how to express what's spinning around in that head of yours.



4. YOU BECOME IMPOSSIBLE TO RELATE TO.
When you're terrible at expressing yourself, no matter how hard people try to understand you, they won't know what you're feeling unless you tell them. They can't relate to what you're going through if they have no idea you're going through it (obviously).



5. YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE WAY MORE FEELINGS THAN MOST PEOPLE DO.
It's because you're terrible at talking about them, so you feel like you have more feelings than everyone else, and that might be why you're hesitant to share them, because you fear that your feelings are over exaggerated, or dramatic, or abnormal in every way possible. But the great thing about your feelings is that they are YOURS, and no one else's, and chances are people won't judge you for having them. If they do, then clearly they don't deserve to be in your life?



6. YOU OFTEN FEEL MISUNDERSTOOD.
Your mode of self expression isn't always conventional for a relationship, and sometimes you're uncertain of the best way to say what's on your mind. Stop looking for the best way, because there is no 'right' way to voice your feelings, there is just the way you choose to do it. You're feeling misunderstood because you have troubles in saying what you mean, but everyone has a different way of communicating, and maybe you're is more unconventional than simply talking. Write it down, draw a picture, burn something, whatever you need to feel heard, go for it, and then you'll end up feeling a little less misunderstood.

SIMPLE WORDS COMPLICATED FEELINGS.

Loneliness is a temporary feeling. its when your roomate leaves you alone for a week for a family vacation. It's what you feel when the person you shared your days with for ages unexpectedly changes their mind and starts sharing others'. It's what you feel when you pass that couple on the sidewalk holding hands and you have only your phone in yours.
 
 
Loneliness comes in waves. One moment you feel fine, and the solitude brings you peace. The next moment the quite hurts your ears, and you can't do anything about it.
 
 
The weird thing about loneliness is that you don't have to be alone to feel alone. Someone could be sitting right next to you, talking to you, looking at you, saying things you would normally love to hear, but you still feel like no one is there.
 
 
Emptiness is completely different. Emptiness is what remains when loneliness recedes. Emptiness stays.
 
 
Emptiness does not come and go in waves, it is static. You don't feel empty, you know it. You know that something is missing, but you don't know what, until the vacant space is filled.
 
 
Emptiness doesn't return like loneliness does. Once you fill that hole that emptiness digs, it doesn't appear again.
 
 
Emptiness is what you feel when you feel you're missing a connection. Loneliness is what you feel when a connection is lost.