Saturday, 31 December 2016

when it comes to you, I’m weak. I couldn’t say no. I can never say no to you. We fell apart and I can’t say that I’m left mystified because I knew that it would happen. That’s just what loving you is. It’s an incredible high followed by the comedown. Just as I expected, I still struggle to let you go.

Where did that strong, independent person who I was when I met you go? In many ways you are just like a drug – never really caring for me and yet I would cast everything aside, including all rational thought, just to be with you. How did I become reduced to an addict?

I keep holding on. I keep telling myself things will get better, that you do care about me. I tell myself that you have a hard time showing affection. I tell myself that you show you care about me in different ways, even though I’m not entirely sure what those ways are. I keep twisting things in my head because I didn’t want to accept not having you in my life.

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